Thursday, March 12, 2009

A New Day

Well, here we are on March 12, 2009; my induction date. As you all know, Ethan had other plans and today we're celebrating his 4-day birthday. I can't even believe how much love I have for him in just these few short days. I was really worried about "bonding" with him without being able to hold him, feed him, etc. but God has really given me a love that I could have never imagined.

Yesterday was probably THE hardest day of my life. Harder than him being taken from me while I was still at Rex. Harder than any of those "bad ultrasound" days (which I thought were totally devestating at the time). Waiting in that room, knowing that my precious baby was in such a fragile state, was mind-numbing. There were times I literally felt as though I couldn't move any part of my body. I am so thankful for our family, Jason, and Jeff who sat with us through such a long process, even when it felt like I had nothing to offer.

The good news is that the surgery was a success. It took me a while to realize that, as there were a few other major complications that were not anticipated. I could only focus on the fact that things didn't go exactly as planned and, to me, that said it didn't work. Thank God for a husband who is able to speak the truth to me in such a loving, compassionate way.

Ethan had an OK night; it definitely could have been worse, and it could have been better. His nurse just told me she would call him "critically stable". He hasn't been urinating as well as he should be, and there's the possibility of him going on some medication to help pull the fluid out. He also has some fluid build-up in his right lung that they're working to alleviate. Overall, he is doing OK. I just had the chance to go see him and love on him a little; it's still so hard to see him like this but, at the same time, I can't stay away. I've been forsaking all the basic human needs (eating, drinking, sleeping, and, for a new mommy, pumping) to be with him. You guys can pray that I start taking better care of myself, so that I can be the strong, healthy mama that he needs right now.

I feel so generic saying this over and over, but THANK YOU for the continued prayers, support, hugs, calls, e-mails, and tears you've shared with us over the past few days. We still have a long road ahead of us, but with your help, and God's mercies that are new every day, we're going to be OK.
We welcome visitors but, given Ethan's condition right now, we're not going to allow anyone other than grandparents to go back and see him. Fighting infection is a huge part of this process and we're going to be as cautious as we can! We would still love to see you guys though, so feel free to come by. We're on the 5th floor of the main Duke Hospital in the Cardiac PICU.

We love you.

14 comments:

Taylor Barbour said...

We do serve an Awesome God. May God continue to give you and Jeramie the strength that you need. Know that we continue to lift you and your family up in our prayers. All my love, Taylor

Scott said...

Joye - We had a great time of prayer for Ethan last night, and I personally continue to keep him (and you guys) in prayer.

I will pray for you to take better care of yourself, but this is one of those things you just have to do. You have a long road ahead here - pace yourself and take care of yourself. You need to be rested and strong when this hospital stay is over so you can take care of Ethan when he gets home.

I know it's hard - but taking care of yourself is what you need to do for Ethan now.

Erin Mac said...

Joye, I am in constant prayer for you and your little one.

I don't work too far from Duke, so if you need anything don't hesitate to call. It's okay to take care of yourself. Your baby needs that from you.

Hugs and love to you all.

Nichole said...

We are praying for you guys and I am completely amazed at your strength Joye. What a blessed little boy that have two parents that are so in love with him.

Amanda said...

I am so glad the night is over and a new day is upon us. I am praying constantly for Ethan's body to heal quickly. I am glad you got some rest last night. Thank you for the updates. I know it's hard to put this into words at times. I will remind Ethan in his teens that rebellion is not allowed. His worry meter has hit the limit. Love you guys!

David said...

Joye, Please know that the folks at NorthRide Church in Haines City, FL has joined you in a prayer journey for Ethan and your family. Having been close to where you are now, I for one can assure you that this is the time when God will meet you like no other. While the circumstances are at times difficult, just remember that joy comes in the morning. God will prove/show His faithfulness now as never before. We (Karen and I) and the church family here are faithfully lifting you before God's throne. David Myers

Jessica Davis said...

Carmen! Carmen! in Wilmington, all of Wilmington, Sneads Ferry, Southport, Texas, Georgia and all over and inbetween continues to keep you, Jeramie, and Ethan in their prayers and thoughts. I can't wait to hold him and love him and kiss him. One day at a time..our daddy taught us a thing or two about patience, right?? :) I love you. Thank you for taking time out of your crazy hectic schedule to update us. There are so many things that make me smile today, whether it be MORE good news, a deep breath, a smiling face, the spring air, the way Ethan's toes separate when you touch them lightly, when the time clock randomly said "Welcome to Work! SMILE", or just knowing I'm an aunt to a very wonderful, beatiful, and STRONG little boy and a supportive sister...all these are reasons why YOU should smile as well (well..maybe YOUR time clock didn't say that..) I love your beautiful smile and I can't wait to see Ethan's smile! Have a great day Joye and tell Ethan I love him sooo very much!
Love you

Anne said...

Joye,
Watching you with the children at school, I know you are a wonderful mother already (even at 4 days)... just be careful to take care of yourself. You've gotten some extra prayers from me, because I've had trouble sleeping just thinking of what your precious family is going through. One day at a time and keep that beautiful smile. Thanks for the updates. Love, Anne

Teresa said...

Jeramie and Joye
I have been getting updates everyday from Amy and I have been praying everyday since Ethan has been born, God bless you and your love ones to stay strong and keep the faith because God can heal all and I trust and believe that with all my heart. Always thinking of you
Teresa

Andy Anderson said...

Joye,

God has bless you and Jeramie with a beautiful son. You have given him the name Ethan, which by the way means, Enduring, Long-lived, Firm, Steadfast. All these words seem to have even more meaning as your son continues to endure the process of all that he is facing at such an early age. So Joye and Jeramie, please remember this, the steadfastness of God's love will surround you and the firm foundation of His truth will be what you walk on through all your days of this wonderful journey of parenting. Ethan is a gift and heritage from the Lord and we coninue to thank God for all He has and continues to do. You, Joye Mullis, press on and allow the strength of our heavenly Father carry you through.

Joye, this is your Youth Pastor telling you that you have and continue to bring great hope and joy to our lives. Thank you for spreading His love in such a wonderful and beautiful way.

It is a wonderful thing to see the body of Christ come together and pray for your son. May God receieve all the glory and praise for the work He is and continues to do in your family. My prayer is that your faith would increase as you continue to walk closely with Him. Knowing that he loves you and understands how you feel. Rest in Him and let Him be what you have always trusted Him to be. A wonderful-compassionate Savior that wants to be the Lord of your life.

Take heart Joye Mullis, because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice. For you and Ethan are fearfully and wonderfully made.

God bless,
Andy

Genia said...

To my JoJo & Jeramie: It was so good to see the two of you today. The two of you continue to shine the light of God's love even in difficult circumstances. You are wonderful parents and have a great compassion and strength for your son. My family is praying that you keep you hold steadfast to the hands of God during these trials. Continue to rejoice even in the small victories as it is God's way of reminding us He is here and in control. Best of all, we serve a living God.
Please know while it was good seeing you today, it was extremely hard leaving. It makes me so sad that I cannot be closer to be with you and your family in these circumstances. I miss you so much, but nevertheless please know I continue to lift up the Mullis family daily in prayer and am just a phone call aways. Love you.

Ingrid said...

Jeramie, Joye, Ethan and family: You are in my prayers every night. Ethan is adorable. I love his little lips they look like a bow and Jeramie knows from all the baby showers at work how I feel lil baby feet...too cute!

Prayer go up and blessing come down.

Ingrid D.

Dawn Neuman said...

Joye~ Just a note to say you are in my prayers each and every day! Thanks for the updates. God has given you a very special little boy and He has given him a very special Mommy and Daddy! Remember, taking care of yourself is part of taking care of him. You cannot be there for him, if you are not well yourself!
~Dawn Neuman

heidi bristol said...

I am glad that he is ok! Please take care of yourself!! You HAVE to stay healthy for him!! check out this site whenever you get a chance to breathe....it's the mended hearts club and it is a support group for heart babies...we are part of the Baptist one..but there is a Duke chapter...they are so helpful and comforting...worry about taking care of yourself...we will be thinking about you!! www.mendedlittlehearts.org

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