Hey y'all; I want to take a second to fill you in on some news we received today. You may remember this post about a potential heart catheterization for Ethan. Well, we found out today that the time is now. He will be admitted to Duke sometime Monday for the procedure and will spend at least 1 night there. Depending on how the cath goes, he may need to stay in the ICU for a night.
I found myself asking "why?" A LOT today. Not so much in regards to why this needs to happen; I'm fully aware of those reasons. But why NOW? Why the day before the 1st day of school? Not only did I not finish out the year with my kids, but now it looks like I won't be starting it either. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be with my son ANY DAY, but I just can't keep myself from thinking about how horrible this timing is.
But who am I to decide when things should happen? Who am I to tell God what's best for me and my family?
I think somewhere deep inside of me, I knew it would be like this. I've had so much anxiety and stress about going back to work. I was, and still am, stressing about being stressed out. Thankfully, I work for an administration that understands my situation and reminds me that Ethan is my mission and focus, and that we'll figure out Tuesday. I know this, but it's very difficult to maintain balance in the midst of two huge events.
Will y'all pray for us? Pray that I would find some peace about the situation; peace about being back in the hospital, about getting my classroom set-up, about missing the 1st day of school. Pray for Ethan, of course, that he would come through the cath with flying colors, and that he won't have to spend any extended amount of time at Duke.
Oh, and we'll be sharing our story (Ethan's story, really) at our church, Visio Dei, this Sunday. If you're around, feel free to come to either the 9:00 or 11:00 service. Y'all can pray for that, too, while you're at it. These wounds are still very fresh, but we feel as though we have an obligation to share our son's story, and to give God the glory through it all.
Monday, August 17, 2009
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5 comments:
Love you guys!
I am so sorry this is happening at such a stressful time Joye. Hang in there. We will be praying!
hang in there, Joye! I'm so sorry about it all coming at you and your family at the same time. :-(
Yes, we will be praying! And know that in the midst of this, your openness is ministering to people. Reading your post this morning, God spoke to me through your question "who am I to decide when things should happen?" I am so thankful for you and your family and for the way you've invited us all in to your ups and downs. You, Jeramie and Ethan are so loved!
Continuing to pray for each of you. Also praying that God will use you Sunday in a mighty way to touch someone. We never know what one may need and the way God can use each of us. He just asks for us to trust Him and be a willing vessel. Continue to hold His hand as He leads each of you. God bless!
Jan
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