We've been home for about 24 hours and, man, are we tired! It seems as though Ethan is still a little sore, so we're doing our best to manage that with Tylenol every 4 hours. There are also times when he just loses his mind and nothing really seems to help. He's not sleeping very well, and I can only imagine it's because he's more than a little uncomfortable.
But then, there are times when he is as happy as can be. His personality is still intact, and it doesn't appear that his gross motor skills were compromised; thank you, Lord! We are thankful to be at home this quickly, but it comes with a completely different set of concerns.
I worry about how I handle him; am I picking him up the right way? Does it hurt when I hold him a certain way? I worry about his oxygen level when he gets really mad and holds his breath. I worry about the way his tiny heart is functioning in his body. Is it beating properly? Is his pacemaker still functioning the way we want it to be? I worry about whether or not he's perfusing well; I check his capillary refill with every diaper change. I constantly check on him while he's sleeping, but then I worry if I'm going to wake him up when I open the door. I worry about his incisions and the stitches where his chest tubes were; do his clothes rub against the raised skin, causing even more irritation?
So, as you can imagine, I'm in need of some peace of mind; and we could all use some really good sleep! I'll be staying at home this week, at least, until Ethan's cleared to go back to Mandy's. Until then, I'll be loving on, playing with, and, of course, worrying about my little boy. Keep on praying for and encouraging us; it helps more than y'all know!