Today.

There is so much rolling around in my head that I want to post to this space -- pictures, stories, thoughts -- but at the end of the day, it just doesn't happen.

This morning, however, I have a quiet house all to myself and I'm stealing a few minutes to ask for your prayers.

Ethan has a big check-up with his cardiologist this afternoon.  Although we saw Dr. I three months ago for some funky rhythm issues, this will be Ethan's first full check-up since this past fall.  That appointment back in September seemed to be pointing us towards surgery, so we'll see what today's tests show.

I'm a bit anxious, and I have lots of questions.  Why is Ethan getting tired more often? Will his pacemaker battery need to be replaced soon? Will the conduit be replaced at the same time, or can it wait a while? How many months are we willing to put between those two surgeries for the sake of waiting? How will this affect Ethan starting kindergarten in the fall? How will this affect mine and Jeramie's ability to welcome children into our home?

So. Many. Questions.

But, praise God that He is not the author of confusion! I am trying to hold fast to that truth this morning, even when my body wants to fill with tension and anxiety.  My prayer over the past couple of weeks is that today's appointment will be full of clarity. Even if the answers are the ones we don't want to hear, I want them to be clear, and I trust that God's peace will conquer any fear or worry that may try to creep in.

Will you pray with me, too -- for his heart, and mine?

Happy Friday, friends.  Thanks for loving us well!