Monday, May 2, 2016

Motherhood.

"We are moms. We are called to love well and be faithful. And there is nothing easy about doing these two things for what adds up to a lifetime. This commitment alone can cause weariness to settle deep within our hearts. In the marathon of motherhood they hand you a person, not a baton. And you don't cross a magical finish line when they graduate from high school. You run it for life--yours and theirs--and the thing Jesus will hopefully say to you when you see him face to face is, 'You ran well, mom. You ran well.'"

Any other mamas tearing up right now after reading that excerpt? Anyone else looking forward to the day we actually see Jesus face-to-face and leave this messed up, weary world behind?

Motherhood is draining me right now, y'all -- which seems only natural as my kids leak secrets about the cards and notes they're making this week in anticipation of Mother's Day -- but it's true. There are so many times, especially when we're all in the van, that I look back at the three sets of brown eyes staring at the back of my head and think to myself, "HOW ON EARTH did I end up with a minivan full of children? Why in the world did the Lord ask this of me? WHAT could he have possibly been thinking?!" 

SO many days I don't feel up for this gig AT. ALL. It all seems so daunting, so overwhelming, so exhausting all the time. 

In light of all that, I recently started back with a counselor who worked with me through some dark days a few years ago. We are just one session in and I'm already wondering why I didn't call her sooner. Why did it take a full year before I finally waved my white flag and admitted I need some help with this? I'm sure my pride has something to do with it, but the Lord is slowly and surely pushing all that out of the way.

Don't let that smile fool you...

Mamas, we're not created to do this alone. For a year now, I've allowed myself to think that being vulnerable with sharing my feelings is equal to asking others to help me with them. It's not. Vulnerability is a beautiful thing, but there's a whole other layer of it that says, "This is how I'm feeling. Now help me deal with it." Praise God that none of this is bigger than he is, and that he graciously sprinkles our path with people who will do just that!

I'm not really sure what this next year of motherhood will bring, but it's my prayer that I'll run this race well and look a little more like him in the process.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
-Hebrews 12:1-3

 

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