Thursday, April 23, 2009

This Sucks

Thank you Mandy for updating everyone for me. We've learned a lot in the past few hours and I'll do my best to reiterate what we've been told.

The doctors think this all started with his bowels. The short story is that we all know Ethan's heart isn't perfect. Due to this, there could have been decreased blood flow to his bowels, which caused them to get "sick". His sick bowels caused him to vomit, which he then aspirated into his lungs. His lungs began working extra hard to breathe through all the fluid, which caused his heart to become very tired.

Then he crashed.

Many of you are probably wondering how his heart stopped with the pacemaker. Basically, the pacemaker was still sending signals, but his heart was too tired to keep up. So it stopped.

I can't explain that moment to you. I saw his heart rate drop on the monitor, I saw a look of terror in Jeramie's eyes. I heard Jeramie yelling at Ethan to wake up. I looked at Ethan and the only word that comes to mind is lifeless. I started screaming and the next thing I know I'm in the hallway and 30-40 people are in our room. Then I began to fall and someone caught me. I don't remember much, but I wound up in a chair somehow.

All I could say was "not him, not our baby". I couldn't cry. I couldn't move. Absolutely awful.

So, 4 hours later we're sitting in the waiting room of the PCICU, where we started 6 1/2 weeks ago. Ethan is in extremely critical condition right now, and the next 6-24 hours are going to be tough to get through.

I want to tell you to pray, but I have no words to explain what I want you to pray for. Honestly, I'm just ticked off. I know you all say that God has chosen us to be Ethan's parents for a reason, but I don't understand why He chose us. I may never know, but I would love for Him to shed some light on that sometime soon.

I'll update more as we learn more. Thank you for caring, for loving us, and for praying the best you know how.


Shannon Meyer said...

Joye, I can not imagine how difficult this must be. We are praying...

Jessica Davis said...

i'm speechless and don't know what to say. i just cannot imagine what's going on. my heart's shattered and i feel completely numb. i don't want this to happen to you. to my wonderful sister and brother in law, and my amazing and beautiful nephew. I can't stop asking why. WHY? i feel so hurt, but so angry. i want to be there with you NOW and i'm going to do my hardest to get up there as soon as possible. I love you so much and i'm so sorry Joye. please stay as strong as possible and stay positive. like we said last night, atleast he's in the best place in the world with the best man of the cardio. i'll see you soon and give ethan kissies for me. tell him I love him SOOO much and i'm praying SO hard for him and his health.

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