Thursday, May 6, 2010

Ethan Update

Hey y'all ... just wanted to give you a quick update on Ethan's latest (and future) appointments. He's currently sleeping in his crib, with a fever of 102, so I'm sure this is going to be a not-so-restful night of giving him Tylenol & Motrin around the clock.

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Yesterday, we took Ethan to see the hand surgeon and he was very happy with how everything looked! The cast came off, and a custom-fit plastic brace was made. It is removable, so we were able to give him a bath tonight; his first since April 18. Glory, hallelujah! I'm not sure who felt better afterward... him, or me.

I also clipped his fingernails this evening and it really sunk in that there are now only eight. I am proud, though. I didn't get all sulky or "woe is me". I'm learning to take all this in stride. God has really spoken to me through a variety of people and situations lately, and I know that Ethan is going to be A-OK, whether he has 8 fingernails or 10.

We'll go back to the surgeon next Wednesday and, if all looks well, we'll resume our follow-ups with Ethan's original orthopedic surgeon, Dr. F.

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Today, I took Ethan to see our primary ENT physician. Based on an exam by a pediatrician at Duke last week, I "knew" that both of Ethan's PE tubes had fallen out. Imagine my surprise (and delight) when Dr. H told me that not only are both tubes in place, but they are also completely patent! They re-tested his hearing, as well, and I'm happy to say that it is perfectly normal. We'll follow-up in 6 months to check the tubes, and hopefully there won't be any need to return until then.

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Tomorrow, my friends, is going to be a biggie. Tomorrow is the day that we receive the results of Ethan's genetic testing. Tomorrow is the day on which the future of our family hinges. Will we find out that Ethan's birth defects are genetic, and then eventually have to make a difficult decision about trying for more children? Or will they tell us that this was all some sort of fluke, but the worry and fear of it happening again will still linger? I think I've purposefully pushed away the weight of tomorrow's appointment, but I can't really ignore it much longer.

More than sitting by Ethan's bedside, watching his heart beat through his open chest; more than standing outside of his hospital room, watching a team of people work to bring him back to life; more than either of those things, I think the results we receive tomorrow will challenge my trust and faith in God's ability to take care of my family. Can I trust Him with the decision to have another child, possibly knowing this could happen again? Is my faith strong enough to even attempt to make that decision? Or will the fear of it all ...the worry, the pain... tell me to just stop where I am? To not believe that He can handle this much better than I can?

I'm not ready for the challenges that will be undeniably evident after tomorrow. I pray that Jeramie and I will receive the results with grace and faith, and that we'll be given the wisdom to make the best decisions possible. Now, don't get me wrong; we're not trying for Baby #2 anytime soon, regardless of Ethan's health, but the thought process of even going there has already started. That flame will only be fueled by what we hear tomorrow.

I would love it if y'all would be praying for Jeramie & me. Our appointment is at 11:00 tomorrow morning, and I pray I'll be filled with God's peace when we sit down with the geneticist. Pray I can control my emotions, whatever they may be, in a way that will still allow me to really hear what he has to tell us.

And, while you're at it, you can also pray that this fever of Ethan's will be gone by tomorrow morning. After experiencing what we did last week, a fever is not exactly a comforting sign.

We love you guys; I'll be sure to update tomorrow evening, if my mental and emotional state allows.

Good night!

6 comments:

Faith M. said...

I will definitely be praying for you tomorrow. I also will be praying that you will get some good rest tonight.

Jenn said...

I am praying friend, for all of it!

The Smith's said...

I am listening to a series on CD by Chip Ingrim right now and today as I was driving to work, he was talking about the wisdom of God, how different God's wisdom is than what we think of as wise. He said that, coupled with His goodness, God's wisdom will always be used for our best. He challenged me when he said, if you truly believe that, it changes the way you look at everything. So my prayer for your family is that whatever the results, you will feel overwhelmingly confident that God has placed or allowed that circumstance for the best ends for the most people. I will also pray for a supernatural good night's rest for Ethan and you and Jeramie!

Jen said...

You have gone into every appointment of Ethan's life filled with God's peace and God's grace ... why would this one be any different?!

I'll be praying for you, just in case. ;-)

Derek said...

I'm also praying for your family. I hope that everything goes good today.

Stefenie said...

I hope that you received great news yesterday. If it didn't turn out how you had hoped trust that God will guide you through the next step along this journey as a family!

Stef
www.whenlifehandsyouabrokenheart.blogspot.com

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