Feelin' funky...

...and not in the hip, cool way, either. I've been in a bit of a funk over the past week or so and can't seem to shake it. I think the fact that Ethan and I haven't gotten out of the house much doesn't help, but there's more to it than that.

I know quite a few people who are dealing with some pretty serious, scary stuff in their lives right now and that constantly eats away at me. Our house never sold, so it's officially off the market. We're in the process of refinancing, and all of the stress that comes along with the mounds of paperwork and endless questions is taking its toll on my mental health. I'm still more than a little bummed that my sister is 3,000 miles away, so it's probably safe to say I'm kind of emotionally unstable as well.

Overall, I'd say that I'm doing OK, just not great. I do think it's safe to say that I am still very pleased that I won't be joining my former co-workers this week as they head back to school. It is bittersweet, knowing that someone else will be responsible for the education of my first babies, but I know they are in good hands. Me staying home with Ethan has been a huge leap of faith and it's currently in God's hands to keep us in the air. I absolutely adore the time we get to spend together and I continue to be amazed at his progress! I am thankful that I've been given this opportunity and my prayer is that Jeramie and I will make wise choices for our family as we move forward, especially with our finances.

But, enough about me...

Ethan never ceases to amaze me. He is my bright spot in an otherwise blah and dull day. Jeramie and I are in the midst of learning how to parent a full-fledged toddler and I welcome the challenge. I've been looking back at lots of old pictures lately and I was reminded that, at one point, there was a very strong possibility that we wouldn't have a toddler to parent. As frustrated as I get when he throws food in the floor, or smacks my hand away, or yells "No NO!", I try to remind myself that being his Mama is what I've always wanted. The good, the bad, and the ugly ... this is my job and I really don't think I've ever had a better boss!

Also, Ethan's well on his way to being tube-free for the first time in his life! At this point, we're only using his G-tube for liquids, but I think we'll have him drinking enough to stay hydrated pretty soon. The current thought is to keep the tube around through the flu season just in case he were to become dehydrated (gotta love that instant access!), then hopefully remove it in the spring. WOOO HOOO!!


If you haven't already signed up to walk with us in the 2010 Heart Walk, and you want to, go ahead and do that today! I'm just $40 away from meeting my personal goal and "Team Ethan" has a little more than $1,200 to raise in our to reach our goal of $2,000. The American Heart Association is counting on us!

That's all for now ... Ethan's waking up and that means it's time for a snack! Thanks for checking in; my apologies for the randomness of it all!